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Chapter 1

I was away from home when it happened‚ when the world changed for ever. I was staying in another city with my best friend‚ one of my regular partners in crime‚ drowning my sorrows as best we could. I’d been kicked out of my band‚ mostly down to a fight I’d had with our singer‚ my other best friend‚ and I was feeling sorry for myself‚ so I ran where I always did when I needed someone who understood. He was a guitarist like me‚ he played for another band‚ and he always understood me.

We were slouched on his sofa‚ working our way down the second bottle of whisky of the evening‚ when the siren started up. We didn’t pay attention for a few moments‚ it blended into the music we were listening to at ear-splitting volume‚ but slowly it penetrated the heavy rhythm and we looked at each other‚ confused. My friend muted the stereo‚ and the noise was still there.

“What’s that?” I muttered‚ and he shook his head.

“I don’t know. Sounds weird‚ it’s not a smoke alarm‚ or a car alarm.” He got up and went over to the window‚ peering out. “Nothing...oh‚ wait‚ what’s that?”

I got up and joined him‚ opening the window and hanging out‚ flinching against the freezing cold air outside. A police car with a loudspeaker was cruising slowly down the street‚ a recorded message playing over and over again. This is an emergency. Proceed to the nearest shelter at once. Bring a change of clothes. Do not stop to collect other belongings. This is an emergency...

We looked at each other. “What’s going on?” I said‚ utterly bewildered‚ already knowing there was no point in asking him‚ he wouldn’t know any more than I did‚ but unable to keep the words inside.

He shrugged‚ eyes wide. “I don’t know. I guess we’d better do what they’re saying. Though why are they telling us to pack a change of clothes? Don’t they usually say to get outside straight away if there’s an emergency? Anyway‚ ’nearest shelter’? What shelter? I never heard about a shelter round here‚ how are we supposed to know where to go?” He trailed off‚ sounding a little panicked.

“We’ll just follow the others‚” I said‚ smiling to reassure him. It was a technique I used all the time; I had never possessed anything resembling a sense of direction‚ so I tended to tag along with other people‚ keeping my eyes open and following those who looked like they were going to the same place I was.

“Okay.” He shook his head‚ visibly pulling himself together. “Change of clothes‚ then. Right. Come on.” He grabbed my wrist and tugged me into his bedroom‚ already opening drawers and pulling clothes out. ”Lucky you never unpacked‚” he said‚ nodding at my half-open rucksack. “Got space in there for my stuff?”

“I think so‚” I said‚ going over to my bag and opening it. I hadn’t brought much‚ hadn’t thought to. Just the essentials‚ a couple of changes of clothes and some eyeliner. And my guitar‚ of course‚ but that was leaning against the wall in its case‚ waiting for me. I hadn’t exactly stopped to think when I’d thrown my stuff together‚ thinking only of getting away‚ getting here.

“Good‚” he muttered‚ passing me his clothes. I stuffed them into the top of my bag and zipped it closed‚ standing up and swinging it onto my shoulder.

“So‚” I ventured. “I guess we’d better go.”

“We better had‚” he said‚ his voice taut and nervous‚ and on impulse I stepped over to hug him.

“Come on. We’ll be back here tomorrow. Whatever’s going on‚ I’m sure it’s a false alarm.”

He forced a laugh. “Probably. I haven’t been watching the news. Have you?”

I shook my head‚ not sure what he was getting at; I never paid much attention to the news. I was mostly of the opinion that the world and its goings-on didn’t have much relevance to me and my life.

“I mean‚ if something really was wrong‚ we wouldn’t have been able to escape it‚ even if we weren’t watching the news. If there was going to be a war or something‚ we’d have heard about it. Wouldn’t we?”

“I guess so.” I shrugged‚ not really sure but wanting to reassure him nevertheless. “I suppose everyone would’ve been talking about it‚ it’d be hard to miss.”

“Well‚ exactly.” He frowned. “Although…maybe there’s been an accident at one of the power stations or something‚ one of the nuclear ones. That’s the sort of thing they put people in shelters for‚ isn’t it?”

“Those things are a lot safer these days‚ though‚ aren’t they? All those rules about health and safety.” I shrugged‚ smiling to reassure him. “Look‚ we’d better go.”

He nodded‚ obviously making himself stop thinking about it. “Come on then.” Grabbing my hand‚ he tugged me out into the hallway. I picked up my guitar on the way‚ I didn’t go anywhere without that‚ and he stopped short when he saw it.

“Just a minute‚ I need to get mine.” He dashed into the living room‚ emerging with his guitar safely fastened into its case and turning the light out behind him. “Now we can go.”

We put our coats on‚ wrapped scarves around our necks‚ pulled on hats and gloves and stepped out of the door with hardly a backward glance. We’d be back tomorrow‚ after all.

Down the stairs we went‚ as the lifts appeared not to be working‚ and on the way we met people from the other flats in his block‚ so that by the time we spilled out of the street door there were ten or twenty of us‚ all unsure what was going on‚ all unsure where this ’shelter’ was and how we should get to it.

We walked almost directly into a policeman‚ and looking around I realised that the street was full of them‚ in bright fluorescent jackets outside every building‚ talking on their radios and herding people along.

“Down that way‚” he said‚ pointing. “Turn left and then right‚ you’ll see it straight ahead of you. Please don’t panic‚ just walk that way.” The nervousness was clear in his voice and of course‚ although nobody was panicking‚ as soon as he mentioned the word the tension in our little group increased tenfold.

“What’s all this about?” someone demanded‚ and the policeman grimaced.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry‚ I can’t tell you anything other than that you need to get to the shelter as quickly as possible. Please just go.” His voice shook a little‚ and then his radio crackled and he turned away from us to speak into it. We all looked at each other‚ and then started walking.

“What the hell is going on?” I muttered to my friend as we walked. Somehow‚ I hadn’t noticed when‚ his hand had found its way into mine‚ gripping it tightly‚ and I returned the grip‚ holding onto him as if he was the last thing I had in this world.

“I don’t know‚” he replied‚ his voice as low as mine. “I mean‚ if even the police don’t know - well‚ maybe they do know and they’re not telling us. What the hell is happening?”

I shook my head. I had no idea‚ no more than he did‚ or anyone else in our frightened little group‚ as we made our way down the street‚ following the policeman’s directions. We soon emerged into a square lined with buildings‚ and in front of us‚ just as the policeman had said‚ was the shelter. Two large concrete slabs had been lifted up‚ revealing a wide staircase‚ and around it stood more police‚ directing people down the steps and urging everyone to keep calm.

My friend whistled between his teeth. “Jesus. I never knew this was here. I mean...did anyone know?” He raised his voice a little‚ and everyone around us shook their heads; nobody knew about it‚ nobody had seen it before.

“I remember wondering why the paving slabs were so large just there‚” one woman said‚ “but I thought it was just one of those things.”

We moved closer‚ getting caught up in the crowd and slowing to a shuffle‚ making our way towards the steps. I tightened my grip on my friend’s hand‚ not wanting to lose him in the crowd. I knew nobody else here‚ and I was good enough at getting lost when I knew where I was‚ let alone somewhere strange. Before we knew it the steps were beneath our feet and we had to concentrate not to slip‚ knowing instinctively that all it would take would be one person falling and the whole crowd would become a crush and there would be nothing to stop us all falling to the bottom of the steps. I tightened my grip on my friend’s hand even more.

The steps were slippery and dirty‚ wet from the cold‚ damp atmosphere and already covered in the dirt from everyone else’s shoes‚ all those who had already descended into the shelter. Fluorescent strip lights on the ceiling made everything too bright‚ too stark‚ white tiles on the walls and floor‚ no posters‚ no graffiti‚ nothing to make this place feel familiar. It was obvious that it had never been used.

We made it to the bottom of the steps without incident‚ and there were more police officers directing us along a long corridor‚ past closed door after closed door‚ until at last we came to a door that was open. They ushered us through and we stepped into another corridor‚ shorter than the last‚ leading off at an angle. It was lined with more closed doors‚ but these had signs on them‚ men’s and women’s toilets‚ shower rooms; I began to realise that this was a serious enterprise‚ that somehow the government had been planning for this - whatever this was - for a very long time.

Towards the end of the corridor was another open door‚ a brightly lit room beyond it. We shuffled through and found ourselves in an enormous space lined with bunks‚ each bed made up with crisp white sheets and institutional-looking blue blankets‚ curtains of the same shade hanging from the frames ready to be drawn around the bottom bunks. At the far end of the room‚ people already seemed to be settling in‚ claiming bunks and calling to one another‚ speculating as to what was going on. We had descended the stairs in near-silence‚ only the cry of a frightened child every now and then breaking the anxioius hush; somehow nobody seemed to want to say anything while we did not know where we were going. But now the noise seemed almost deafening‚ voices complaining and conjecturing‚ children crying and nobody hushing them‚ everyone too intent on their own fear to worry about anyone else.

My friend and I made for the side of the room‚ managing to claim a bunk bed set back against the wall. I glanced around‚ uncomfortable under the bright light and wishing for shadows and darkness to hide in‚ already shaken and uncomfortable and feeling worse for the intrusive brightness and the strangers all around us. We put our guitars down on the lower bed and I dropped my bag on the floor‚ and then we looked at each other‚ assessing our situation.

“Well‚ it’s not exactly the Hilton‚ is it?” I found myself saying‚ trying to cover up my discomfort with a joke‚ and he chuckled‚ short and humourless.

“Not by a long shot. Still‚ at least we’re out of the way.” He trailed off‚ and I noticed that he was fiddling with the cuffs of his jacket‚ fingers nervous and shaking.

“What’s wrong?” I murmured‚ stepping closer.

He looked away‚ an ashamed expression crossing his face. “I don’t like enclosed spaces. Makes me antsy‚ not having an escape.”

I reached out to hug him. “It’s all right. It’s not like it’s permanent‚ we’ll be out again come morning. We’ll be back at yours before we know it.”

“I bloody hope so‚” he muttered‚ and I tightened my arms around him for a moment‚ wanting to reassure him.

“Come on. May as well go to bed‚ there’s nothing else to do.” Pulling away I leaned over to move the guitars from the lower bunk‚ but he reached out a hand to stop me.

“No‚ wait. Can we...” He trailed off‚ swallowed‚ and took a deep breath. “Can we share?” His eyes were wide and frightened‚ and I stopped and straightened up again‚ smiling as reassuringly as I could.

“Of course we can.” I turned to climb the ladder to the top bunk‚ stretching out along the wall and waiting for him to join me‚ trying to hide how relieved I was that he had asked. Crowds of people had always unsettled me deeply‚ though I had always hated to admit it‚ and by this point I was almost at the end of my tether.

He shuffled closer‚ sliding his arms around me‚ and I settled him back against my chest‚ resting my arm over him. We had slept this way so often before that it was almost automatic‚ almost instinctive; well‚ I’d been planning to share his bed back at his flat‚ this wasn’t so different‚ was it?

“It’s all right‚” he whispered‚ “this is our space‚ there’s nobody else here‚” and I realised that he knew my fears without me even mentioning them. I blinked‚ looking down at him‚ and he smiled. “I know. It’s all right. Just pretend they’re not there.”

I smiled‚ biting back the rising panic. ”As long as you pretend we’re not here. We’re back in your flat‚ which is where we’re going to be tomorrow. It’s going to be all right.”

“It is‚” he murmured. “It’s all going to be fine. Reckon they’re going to put the lights out so we can go to sleep?”

“They’d better‚” I growled softly‚ but not long afterwards‚ once the room was full‚ I supposed‚ the lights dimmed‚ and a minute or two later they went out completely. We tightened our arms around each other and eventually drifted off to sleep‚ our fingers sifting through each other’s hair‚ trying to soothe one another enough to fall asleep.

***

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